Just some fussing from naggy old me...

I have not been blogging for quite some time... Many of Ryan's photos are not updated too.

Since I started my new job.  It has been rather enjoyable yet tiring.  As I gradually drop off my clients from my previous job, I feel very guilty.  Sometimes I question my decision to hold 2 jobs at the same time.  I cannot relinquish my previous job overnight as it involves many people.  Neither do I wish to give up my new comfortable paying job.

Many people have asked me to resign from my previous employment... Though the pay is peanuts, I really love the job.
On the other hand, the new job is comfortably paid with nice environment, but it is a job scope which I loathe.  I do not have confidence that I will stay long, doing the same thing over and over, for the next few years.  Besides, my skillset is already rusty.  I'll need to invest time and money to upgrade myself if I intend to stay in this new career, in order to reach greater heights.

Everyday at lunch, where others get to rest a full hour, I have to "tapao".  No luxury of eating outside with fellow colleagues.  Reason being, I want to stand my views on extended breastfeeding.  So I will always keep at least 30mins of my lunch hour for pumping session.

After pumping, I always feel so lethargic.  I have to rely on viewing Ryan's photo during each session to keep my day bright & chirpy.

After a long day at work, I love to see Ryan's exciting face upon seeing me at the gate.  This is probably the only thing that keeps me going.

Once I attended Adam Khoo's seminar.  He said something that got me thinking...
What is your bottom line?  What drives you?  How much pain must you suffer before you will feel the pain enough for change to take place?  What is preventing you from changing?

My bottom line:
Money? Nah... Spend lesser lor...
Pride? Nah... I am way past the stage of awards chasing...
Son's opinon of me? Yesh! I do not want Ryan to see me as a bum for his mother.

Preventation/Procrastination:
I love latching Ryan all day/night.  It does not matter what others say that extended breastfeeding is useless, blah, blah...  I do what I believe.
Baby drink Mama's milk.  Cow drink Moo-Moo's milk.

My previous job deters me from pumping on the go because I do not work at a fixed location.  Therefore I cannot pump on the go.  This was perhaps the reason why I refuse to "work" daily, consistantly.
My new job has a fixed location.  Best of all, they have a standard house type refrigerator for me to store my EBM.  The office is only 20mins away from my house.

So perhaps this is the drive that I need.

I just need to find a way to apologise to my clients and find a way to drag myself away from my old job.   Very sad to leave a job that I love...